Everyone is just searching for happiness.

Everyone is searching for happiness, the whole point of life is to do what makes us happy. I used to wonder many times why people do what they do and why I do what I do. Many times we do things that cause us or others pain or keep repeating the same mistakes over and over even when we know it’s wrong.

I came to realise in time that all the good things and bad things in the world all stem from people trying to find happiness. Ultimately what we view as good or bad is our own opinion, most of us would be shocked and angered by acts of terrorism for instance but in the minds of the terrorists they are doing what is right and doing what they think will bring them happiness.

What brings us happiness or what we think we bring us happiness is our own opinion obviously, realising this though can help us understand others so much better. We can go through this life with more understanding and less hate in our hearts when we realise everyone else is just like us, we all want the same thing, happiness.

In religion or spiritual teachings we are taught to show love and compassion to everyone but it can be sometimes hard when we view others and their actions superficially. Being understanding of the actions of others doesn’t mean we have to approve of their actions or be their friends it just means realising that everyone is trying to find happiness in this life, unfortunately some people feel hurting or taking advantage of others is the way to do it.

In my younger years I world truly resent and hate people I felt caused me harm or took advantage of me in some way but as I started realising that no one is truly perfect, we are all messed up in some way or another and some people due to their upbringing, circumstances or the pain they are feeling internally do or say things to others they think will make them happy.

Hurt people hurt other people. No one I feel wants to find happiness hurting others but we live in a world of so many broken people through no fault of their own, there are no evil babies, the conditioning and environment we all grow up in is out of our control.

One of the biggest realisations we can come to on the road to seeking inner peace and happiness is realising who we really are, not who we think we are, not our name, age, job, body etc not those labels but what we are prior to those labels. When we look inward and through meditation and self enquiry realise what we essentially are is identical with everyone and everything else we slowly start feeling more connected, we start realising we aren’t in the universe we are the universe.

The whole point of life as it’s presented to us, where we feel we are a person moving through time and space is to find love and happiness. What we are ultimately trying to find is ourselves. The essence of what we all truly are is love and happiness, it’s like a wave in the ocean trying to find the ocean, the ocean is playing games with itself, the wave is always the ocean.

Our life is just the universe playing games with itself, if we knew 100% that it was all just a dream and taking life as seriously as we do was unnecessary it would kill the fun of it all. Deep down we love feeling the highs and lows of life, we say we love the highs but we truly love the lows too it’s what gives life meaning and purpose overcoming hardships.

To find true happiness we must realise the essence of what we and what everyone else truly is and also realise every action that we or others perform regardless of how we perceive or judge the actions is coming from a place of trying to find happiness. We are all one in the end, the world is a mirror to ourselves so a little compassion and understanding goes a long way.

Thanks for reading,

Simon Coleman.

Nobody cares and why it’s a good thing..

Nobody ultimately cares about our life, Nobody ultimately cares about us. Hearing this at first may sound like a bad thing but I really believe it’s a good thing.

To be human we must have an ego, our ego is required to give us a sense of feeling separate which is a good thing, if I don’t feel I’m ” over here” then I can’t interact and enjoy everything ” over there” that I’m apparently not, separation is an illusion but a required one so we can experience the miracle we call life.

Our ego has problems too, one of the biggest problems it can have is feeling that our problems are the most important thing in the world. To be honest in a sense that is true because no one can live our lives but us, we are the main character in our movie, our problems are our world.

One thing we must understand though is while our ego cares about our lives and our problems, we must remember that nobody else ultimately does because they have their own lives and problems to deal with.

What I’m saying may sound obvious but how often do we worry what others think or how they perceive us? Even the people that say ” I don’t care what others think about me” usually only say it when receiving criticism, I’ve never heard anyone use that line when receiving praise.

We all naturally worry about our lives and how we are perceived by others but when we come to realise nobody ultimately cares, instead of feeling like it’s a bad thing, like our egos probably think it is, we should see it as a liberating thing.

While we walk around worrying what others think of us they are doing the same. They don’t have time or probably don’t even notice our perceived flaws because they are too busy worrying about their own perceived flaws that we don’t notice.

On the flip side if we are walking around dressed well, or driving around in a nice car etc it may turn peoples heads in the moment but after the moment has passed they quickly move back to thinking about their own lives, whether it’s how good they are feeling about themselves or about how bad they are feeling about themselves.

What I’m ultimately trying to say is we shouldn’t feel as embarrassed, awkward or insecure as we can sometimes feel because nobody ultimately cares how beautiful or ugly we are, nobody cares about our successes or failures because they are too worried about their own, realising this is very liberating.

Does this mean what’s the point of trying to look good, achieve success, accomplish goals etc if nobody cares? It doesn’t mean that at all because somebody does care, you. In the end we must do what makes us happy because while people will be there to congratulate us in the moment or feel bad for us in the moment it’s only just for a moment then they quickly get back to thinking about their own success and failures.

In the end nobody is ultimately going to care how much we succeed or how much we fail, we are all human and we all experience the same emotions of fear, regret, insecurities, doubt etc at some point in our lives. We must truly not care what people think of us good or bad because in the end they don’t care, in realising this, looked at in the right way, will bring a sense of relief and peace.

Thanks for reading,

Simon Coleman.

You just need to make it through today.

We would all love a problem free life, to be human is to experience pain and suffering though. The ability to know we are alive, to experience a story we call ” my life” is a beautiful thing at times and at other times can be the most horrible thing.

Life is a gamble, a roll of the dice, a poker hand, some people are dealt a bad hand, some get a bad roll of the dice. We feel in control of our lives but many things are out of our control, I would say all is out of our control but will leave that for another post. We don’t pick our parents, our genetics, the thoughts and ideas we are exposed to at a young age, definitely not the mental and physical abuse that some are exposed to.

Some people’s lives turn out great, many people’s lives don’t, and when they don’t turn out great, sadness and depression can overwhelm us. As humans we can’t avoid pain because that comes from the body but we can avoid suffering, well at least try to manage the suffering. Pain is for the body what suffering is for the mind, suffering is painful thoughts that we go over and over again in our minds.

When thoughts of giving up start creeping in especially when giving up means ending our lives, we must really take time to breathe and tell ourselves ” my only goal at this point in my life is to get through today”. When our lives start falling apart, focusing on things we can’t control is wasted mental energy. When everything starts going wrong we need to get back to basics, we need to set an achievable goal, a goal that is just to get through today. Get through breakfast, lunch and dinner, do everything that is required in that day to the best out our ability then climb into bed and remember to tell ourselves that we can’t possibly know what tomorrow will bring and it doesn’t matter because we made it through today, we succeeded.

When we wake up we must set our selves the goal again of just making it through the day. Life doesn’t owe us anything, life unfolds how it wants to not how our ego wants it to, we must surrender to what is and just flow with it, we also must remember that nothing in life is permanent, even the bad times. At times when things aren’t going well we must just keep our head down and ride out the storm, if we get stuck in our thoughts of why this or that happened, or why it shouldn’t be this way, it can get dangerous when our thoughts start to get dangerous.

The foundation of our lives should be solid and by solid I mean being able to live simply, to master the basics of being happy with what we have, to be grateful for what we have, after that is mastered then we can branch out into achieving more and more knowing that if it ever fails we can retreat back to the foundation of simplicity and not be crushed by unfortunate circumstances.

When the bad times and sad times appear, never feel like a failure, never feel guilty, never feel you are doing life wrong, if you view God as the essence of all things and all reality then everything is always as it should be at all times. Hard times are given to us to grow stronger and develop wisdom, they are also there to show us that we shouldn’t put our happiness into things that are impermanent. We are here to experience all the beauty and all the horror life has to offer, when things are going great our dreams and plans get bigger and bigger and that’s ok, but when things are going wrong we need to realise and understand that it’s ok too and that we must take a step back and focus on what we can control, that all we must do is make it through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes.

You are stronger than you think, you can make it through today and that’s all that is required of you when life isn’t working out, save the bigger goals and dreams for when life starts looking brighter again, and it will. No one can say when, but bad times are the best times to practice mindfulness because that’s all we can do, be here and now, just make it through the hour, the afternoon, the day, that’s all you need to do, don’t be tricked into thoughts of doing things that you can’t reverse such as suicide, I’ll leave it at that, you’ve got this, I know you do.

Thanks for reading,

Simon Coleman.

Accepting what is, it doesn’t mean being passive.

Anyone getting into spiritual teachings will eventually come across the idea of acceptance. Acceptance is mentioned a lot and for good reason, acceptance is the way to inner peace in our lives. Unconditional love is another way of saying unconditional acceptance, we may ask ” why do bad things happen in the world?” They happen because as hard as it is for our minds to grasp, reality, god, the universe or whatever you want to call it doesn’t pick sides, it doesn’t operate on good and bad, right and wrong, these are human made concepts and ideas.

I’m not for one moment condoning the terrible acts and deeds committed in the world, from the relative level, the level we operate as human beings, there is definitely good and bad but from the ultimate level of reality these concepts don’t exist and this is why what we deem as bad is allowed to happen because bad and good are always one.

Getting back to acceptance though, what does it mean to accept what is? Many may think it means just to sit back and allow people or events to have their way with us. Acceptance and passivity aren’t the same thing though. Acceptance and tolerating aren’t the same thing either.

If you walked into a room of your house and you saw an intruder violently attacking a loved one, are you gonna just stand there and say ” oh well I must accept this is happening to them…” of course not! To do that is to not accept that you want this terrible act to stop. When we practice acceptance we must accept we are a person too, we must accept how we feel about a situation and accept the action we wish to take or not take.

We can accept the fact that there are terrible people in the world doing terrible acts but that doesn’t mean we have to be friends with them, in doing so we would be ignoring our feelings of not wanting to hang around these types of people.

To truly accept what is, is to just realise that whatever shape or form this exact moment right now is taking, filled with all its thoughts, feelings, sounds, perceptions etc, whatever is happening has already been allowed or accepted to happen by our true self otherwise it wouldn’t be happening.

Our ego self for sure has preferences but like I said if it’s happening already, our true self which is the self of all seemingly seperate things is always unconditionally accepting and loving what is. Our true self accepts reality, our ego self judges reality. Our true self is like a wise, all knowing, all loving parent, our ego self, which most people think that’s all that they are, judges, prefers and always asks “why this? why that?” unconditional acceptance is what we ultimately are by default.

You are much greater than you think, whether you realise it or not doesn’t matter because you can’t stop being what you ultimately are.

Have a great day, thanks for reading.

Simon Coleman.