Winners and Learners…

We naturally may think there are winners and losers in life, that you are either winning or losing but with a slightly different mindset we can come to see that there is only winning and learning and when you are learning you are still winning.

I common phrase I like to live by is that we are either getting what we want or we are getting a lesson, either way we keep moving forward. We feel our education finishes at school but that only teaches us book smarts, it only teaches us theory. The real education I’ve come to realise happens in the day to day grind we call our life.

We all dislike uncomfortable feelings or situations and usually try to avoid them at all costs but constant avoidance teaches us how to get really good at avoidance, how to get good and getting distracted or putting things off we need to get done.

We are only truly ” losing” when we are avoiding. Trying and failing isn’t losing, if you lose for long enough or practice something long enough you will no doubt become better. One thing they teach in self defence training is that your natural instinct is to move away from danger, if someone is swinging a bat at you for instance we instinctively want to move backwards away from the swinging bat but ironically this gives the attacker more room.

In the bat scenario, the safest option when the time is right is to move in towards the attacker and blocking the attack near the shoulder joint. I use this example as a metaphor for life. We are constantly faced with uncomfortable situations everyday, whether it may be not feeling like studying, exercising, talking to people we don’t like etc, every time we walk into discomfort and fail we haven’t really failed because we were brave enough to face our discomfort or fear and in time it will help us master the things we are scared or anxious about.

Winning teaches us nothing if anything too much success can make us arrogant and unappreciative. We may feel we are ” winning” if we live in a western country and the people third world countries are ” losing” but they aren’t losing they are learning. Ever notice how hard working immigrants are when they come to a more wealthy country? While we spend our time complaining about no wifi or our latte isn’t hot enough etc they are out there learning to hustle, learning how to make money out of anything and everything and with that strong work ethic they build and learn how not to waste anything, be frugal and when they come to a better county usually make a fortune within 10 years or so.

Winning or having everything all the time especially when we haven’t worked for it makes us soft and lazy. Losing or starting off with nothing teaches us strength, persistence, hard work and eventually success. If tough times create tough people but we are lucky to live in a prosperous country then what should we do?

If our environment doesn’t force us to succeed and become tough like in poorer countries then we must learn to impose standards to make us better people on ourselves. When we have the option of comfort vs discomfort and taking the route of discomfort we know will improve us as a person in some way we should choose that route.

The more we chase discomfort and stepping into what we fear the stronger and more powerful we become. Losing is not trying. Winning is trying even when you don’t want to, the outcome doesn’t matter. We are so focused on the outcome and we think that’s what life is all about that we forget that you can win and still lose, you can win an argument with your partner for instance but the fact you are arguing is a loss already.

We all dream of a perfect life with no problems but how boring would that be? How boring would a movie be with no problems or bad guys, a movie where everything is going right for the main character? We must accept and embrace what we call failure because that’s what teaches us the real, useful lessons in life.

There is no winning and losing, only winning and learning, so I wish you all success but also some failures along the way too because that’s where true self improvement begins.

Thanks for reading guys and have a nice day.

Simon Coleman.

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