In the western world at least we’ve never lived in such a time where we’ve had so much opportunity and so much choice. What should I eat, wear, study, Who should I date, who should I marry, should I even get married?? Etc.
Like everything in life when something improves it comes at the expense of something else. Unlimited choice sounds liberating and it can be but it can also bring about doubt and anxiousness.
Many generations ago we were basically told or set up with who we marry, we were pretty much stuck in the class we were born into and we would take over the family business or trade of our parents. It all sounded very limiting and in a sense it was but when you knew that this is the way life is and there is no chance of getting out of it it would’ve brought people to the stage of acceptance of what is and to learn to be happy and enjoy what they had.
These days it’s the opposite, everything from jobs, entertainment, studying and relationships are now a click of a button away. It’s extremely convenient but at the same time it keeps us in constant doubt, it constantly makes us think and feel ” is this really the right person, job, study course for me??”
To many options make us feel uneasy, the fear of missing out and the thought that the grass is greener elsewhere puts us in a state of constant discomfort. A perfect example of this recently in my own life is when I discovered I could use my retirement fund to invest in property, when I found this out I was thinking and thinking if it was the right thing for me, the pros and cons and also realising that we can’t really know what’s best in the long run for sure…
I kept thinking and thinking until I found out that my retirement fund needs to have a certain amount of funds in it, funds I didn’t have just yet to even be eligible to invest in property. When I realised this a sense of relief came to me when I realised that I didn’t have that choice anymore and can stop thinking about it.
For most of us our lives aren’t planned out for us we have constant choice in every aspect of life. What helps me get through day by day is to treat my life like a movie. The beginning, end and every scene in between has already been scripted and made, The character I think I am is just acting out it’s part.
Science tells us that time is an illusion, all moments past, present and future are all playing out in the eternal ” now ” moment just like all scenes exist on a DVD all at the same time, it just appears to have a chain of events that are unfolding from the point of the viewer.
Why do I bring this up? Because when we realise that the self we believe ourselves to be is playing out it’s life and doesn’t really have much or any control over life due to every action or thought we have is in reaction to external factors outside of our control we can start accepting that our lives are gonna unfold as they will and should. Our true self is eternally free, always located here and now, doesn’t get old but watches the body get old, isn’t in time but watches time pass, isn’t any one feeling or emotion but experiences all feelings and emotions.
We ultimately have no choice but the illusion of many choices, all we can do is be aware of our choices and accept the choices we make and be happy the best we can with the consequences and outcomes of those decisions. We are always gaining something from our choices in life at the end of the day, we are either getting what we want or are getting a lesson on how to improve next time.
If we regret our decisions and choices what we are really saying is we regret growing wiser and and stronger because we learn all the valuable lessons in life usually when things go bad. There isn’t Winning and Losing in life, only Winning and Learning.
My thoughts anyway,
Thanks for reading.