You aren’t aging.

You aren’t aging. That statement seems to make no sense, ” of course I’m aging, I look and feel older every year…” you might say, Time to delve into spiritual philosophy…

In a previous post titled ” who do you think you are?” I was explaining the idea of really questioning who we really are at our core not who we think we are. Our name, gender, ethnic background, language, culture, opinions, beliefs, preferences, etc, anything we claim to be ourselves can never possibly be us at our core because all these things were taught or programmed into us at a young age, we could change all these things and still the sense of ” Me” feels the same.

In Hinduism it’s called ” Neti Neti” the practice of self enquiry, finding our true self behind all the stories we tell ourselves and others. Whatever age we are right now, look back at photos of when you were a young child, you look, act and think completely different now yet you feel the same as you always did, the sense of ” I” always feels the same.

Science tells us that every single cell in our bodies die and are replaced every 7 years and 7 years is the maximum, many of the cells in various organs are replaced much quicker. If we have already determined that we aren’t our thoughts or feelings, that they are just passing phenomena that we are aware of and when we come to realise that the body we claim to be us is also passing phenomena that we are aware of then who or what are we?

The reality is the more you look the more you realise all we are at our core is just a conscious, aware presence. We know we are alive that’s all we know for sure, everything we are aware of we see coming and going yet we remain unchanged at our core. All movement is in relation to something that is still, our inner core is timeless, still, ever present, always ” here and now”.

We feel we are a character in the movie of life, moving through the movie, going through ups and downs as the story unfolds but in reality we are the screen the movie plays out on. The character in the movie ages but the screen doesn’t age, the character in the movie moves around but the screen doesn’t move.

Another post I titled ” you are living a double life” was explaining this idea too. When we look out into the world we see time moving, our bodies and every material object aging, we see a world of constant change. When we turn our attention inward though we can discover, timeless stillness. The essence of what we are is the essence of the entire universe, the universe is a closed system, nothing is taken or added to it.

Science says the universe started with the ” Big Bang” but what was before the Big Bang? The reality is time has never started or with ever end, there is only this moment, The you of 10 years, 1 year, 1 hour or 1 second ago isn’t the same you reading these words right now. Our ego is just a story we tell ourselves, it gives our lives an illusionary sense of direction but it’s not ultimately real.

Our bodies are just walking earth, it came from the ground and will return to it along with our ego story, but the sense of knowing we are alive doesn’t go anywhere, that knowing knows the whole universe and that’s what you are at your core. There isn’t God and you being Gods creation, the essence of God and everything is identical, nothing is separate, only our ego story appears to age but our true self, the self of all things doesn’t.

The movie screen doesn’t end and disappear when the movie ends, a new movie starts playing. The essence of what you are can’t age or die because it was never born, everything just is, all scenes of a movie exist ” now” on a DVD disc but we must watch the movie scene by scene to give the movie the appearance of an unfolding story.

Our lives are an infinite amount of ” now” moments, birth, death and every moment in between is happening now. Is your mind blown? It should be, life is a miracle, it can’t be understood, you are the essence of life itself and aren’t going anywhere.

Thanks for reading, liking and subscribing, have a great day.

Simon Coleman.

Avoiding outer conflict leads to inner conflict.

Conflict, most people hate it, most people try to avoid it at all costs but conflict in a way can be a productive thing, people that have the ability to disagree, to argue and to come to an agreement not only learn how to learn to deal with conflict better in the future but it also helps the two parties in conflict grow closer and understand each other better.

” Be a nice person, don’t cause trouble” we may have been told that at a young age, or tell ourselves that if we believe we are a ” good” or ” nice” person and it’s true, we shouldn’t go around causing trouble, but sometimes we can take it too far, sometimes we can feel that speaking up for what we want is causing trouble, let me explain.

I personally grew up trying to please people constantly, I always thought that being a nice person meant being agreeable and putting others needs first, doing so doesn’t seem to cause conflict and makes others happy. The problem with this way of acting and thinking though is that you can take it too far and start ignoring your own needs and desires.

When we have this sought of people pleasing mentality many times we misinterpret what the word ” selfish” means, we can interpret it to mean that anytime we have differing thoughts and opinions from other people, anytime we put our wishes and desires before others that we are being selfish and that’s really not true.

Conflict not dealt with in the outside world doesn’t go away, it just goes inward, it goes inside of us and can build up over time and turn into resentment. The most loving thing we can do for ourselves and other people in our lives isn’t to do everything for them, isn’t to constantly agree with them even when we think it’s wrong, the most loving thing we can do for others and ourselves is just to be honest no matter how ugly or bad the truth seems.

What I’m saying gets back to another post that I posted earlier titled ” don’t try to be a good person” in that post I was trying to say that performing nice or good acts not because we want to but because we feel we need to, because that’s what a good person would do, isn’t really being nice at all.

I’ve struggled most of my life with this, there is a variety of reasons why which would probably fill a book, but the point I’m trying to get at with this post and with the spiritual path in general is that we are human, we are flawed by design, trying to act a certain way to please others, or to avoid conflict because we disagree isn’t helping anyone, we are trying to put others needs first ignoring the fact that we are a person too, we are really being selfish to ourselves and by not being honest with others we are hurting them too.

The biggest gift we can give ourselves and others is honesty, no matter how ugly the truth is. I’ve said in a past post that I don’t mind grumpy people, I don’t mind them because I know they are being genuine and honest, people don’t fake angry but they fake nice all the time. The ability to deal with conflict, the ability to say what you feel or want shows strength, it’s shows you are being genuine, people don’t like good people, people like genuine people.

Anything can be taken to an extreme, putting others needs first all the time will cause resentment, putting our owns needs first all the time will make people disappear from us pretty quickly too if we do it at all costs. Like everything else in life it needs a balance. The best thing we can do is be clear on our morals, values, views on life and what we expect from others. Once we are clear on all those things we must never comprise on those things, doing so will lead us down the road I was talking about, a road of resentment, a road of internalising conflict rather than speaking up and it won’t help our personal life, trust me, anyone who has this bad habit of acting and thinking would know what I’m talking about..

That’s all from me. Thanks for reading, liking and subscribing guys, wishing you all a great day.

Simon Coleman.

Regretting the past is a waste of time.

Regretting the past is a waste of time. Our minds have a natural tendency to think of the past, to think of what could have or should have been, we all by default think this way, but to live in reality and to find more peace in our lives we must practice what doesn’t come naturally to most of us which is to let things go, live in the moment and stop thinking about events that can’t be changed.

We love to think back on things that have went wrong in our lives and say ” if only I did this or said that things would’ve been different” sure they may have been different but we can’t assume what could’ve been would’ve been.

Another thing to realise is how many unfortunate events have we avoided without even knowing? Let me explain.

Have you ever had an unfortunate event happen in your life such as a car accident for example then told yourself ” if only I left a minute later, or a minute earlier, if only I took that other road I normally take etc this accident would never had happened” it’s true it wouldn’t have happened, but how many accidents have we avoided without even knowing by leaving a minute earlier or a minute later on other days?

If you could see the unfortunate events that could’ve played out but didn’t if we did do something slightly different that day we wouldn’t feel life is against us so much. Life is unfolding as it should at all times, life owes us nothing, we are either getting what we want or getting a lesson how to do something better or not at all next time.

Regretting what has happened or using mental energy thinking about things out of our control doesn’t solve anything. The quicker we can go from thinking about why something shouldn’t have happened to thinking, “it has happened and what am I gonna do now?” the quicker we can move on with our lives and live back in reality.

It’s not about having no feelings or blocking out sadness and grief when things go wrong, we should feel what we are feeling to the fullest when we are experiencing it, it’s about realising that a perfect life with nothing going wrong, no adversity, no problems or no mistakes is a dull life. Imagine watching a movie where nothing went wrong, there is no conflict, no drama or tension etc, how boring…

Treat life like an unfolding movie, you never know what’s coming next, also many times when something goes wrong in our lives it’s setting us up for something better to come along, but it works both ways, sometimes what seems like something good happening to us sets us up for something bad as well.

The point is we can never really say what is ultimately a good or bad event for the entire story of our lives, sure if we zoom in to that one event we can judge it good or bad, our minds love being short sighted, but if we can zoom out we never know what this one event that we label good or bad is setting us up for in the future so why regret anything? Just sit back and watch the movie we call ” my life” unfold. Just do the best you can, no one has a problem free life regardless of how their life appears, my thoughts on it anyway.

Thanks for reading guys, thanks for liking and subscribing to my blog, have a good day.

Simon Coleman.

Spiritual detachment, it’s not about being cold.

Spiritual detachment is a phrase everyone is bound to hear eventually when they decide to venture down the spiritual path but what is spiritual detachment exactly?

Many people, including myself when I first heard about this idea thought it meant trying to detach from our feelings. Detach in the sense of not trying to feel anything, not trying to feel, happy, or sad or excitement or any emotion really because in doing so would mean being attached to that certain emotion, situation or person that caused those feelings to arise.

There is a saying in zen not to turn into a ” Stone Buddha” by that they mean, the goal in spirituality isn’t to turn into a stone statue, unmoved or unaffected by anything, even if we could feel that way, how terrible and what a boring way to experience this miracle called life. The state we are trying to achieve isn’t a state of avoiding, suppressing or running away from life in a hope to find peace but running head first into life, embracing whatever we experience fully.

Our ego turns everything into an image, a story, how to do this or do that etc, our ego sees spirituality or how a spiritual person is suppose to act and feel in a certain way, the reality is though we are spiritual in every moment and every action. Our ego thinks inner peace will come when we are walking around like a saint, happy all the time with a smile on our face, unaffected by any bad thoughts or feelings.

The reality to inner peace though, the true meaning of spiritual detachment is to not run from or avoid experience but to run towards experience and fully embrace it. We must fully embrace it and experience it but in the back of our minds remember to tell ourselves that everything is impermanent, nothing lasts, so don’t cling to any experience, don’t wish things were different because things never stay the same.

When we are happy we must make the most of that moment knowing it won’t last. When we are upset, no need to try to block out the feelings, we might as well fully embrace the feeling of sadness to the fullest knowing it won’t last as well. Our thoughts and feelings are never a problem, resisting or clinging to certain thoughts and feelings is the problem.

Inner peace isn’t found in the absence of problems but in the midst of them. We are human, we have a full range of human emotions, to be detached from our emotions in the spiritual sense is to welcome all thoughts, feelings and emotions equally with no resistance to what is. On the outside we will look and act like a regular person but on the inside we will find inner peace. If our ego self wants to act and dress what it deems as “spiritual” that’s totally fine too, but just realise it’s not required and doesn’t achieve anything other than present an image to the world.

When we look deep within we will see our true self is already detached, is unaffected by anything. We see happiness come and we see it go so our true self can’t be happy. We see sadness come and we see it go so our true self can’t be sad, the same goes for everything we experience. Our true self is always detached and at peace, it’s our ego self that goes on the full roller coaster of emotions and that’s perfectly ok. Our ego self is flawed, is in constant movement and unrest, our true self is divine, perfect and unmoved. We are always playing the human and divine role simultaneously, it’s ying and yang in action.

Thanks for reading, have an awesome day.

Simon Coleman.

A sense of humour, essential on the spiritual path.

” Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun”

– Allan Watts

The ability to find the humour in life, the ability to not take life so seriously and especially ourselves so seriously is such an important thing to do. I’m not saying to dismiss the problems of the world or not to take anything seriously, there is horrible pain and suffering in this world that if we can, try to fix as much as possible and if we can’t, at least not add more of it to the world, I’m saying a lot of our personal problems stem from taking life and ourselves too seriously.

I grew up in a very restrictive Christian religion, I have nothing against religion either, whatever we feel is right for us in our hearts and minds we should pursue as no one can live our lives but us. The problem in my opinion though was you felt guilty about everything, you took everything so seriously and was constantly in fear of doing the wrong thing.

As I grew I started to think ” If God is so loving and the source of all creation, everything I think and feel ultimately is from god so why am I taking everything so seriously or feeling guilty?” Humour you will notice is powerful, it has the ability to relieve a tense situation if used properly, it also has the ability to bring people back down to earth when they are taking something they believe in life too seriously.

In regards to our ego, the image we hold of ourselves, nothing cuts through the bullshit that we tell ourselves more than the ability to laugh at ourselves. Look back at some of the petty arguments and conflicts we’ve had and if we are honest, was it really worth it? Our ego doesn’t like to be dismissed or laughed at it, our ego will protect itself and what it believes to the death, forgetting that all the ego is is a bunch of thoughts and images in our minds, we are getting upset over a bunch of thoughts, images and beliefs that we hold in our minds that we believe ourselves to be but couldn’t possibly be because we are aware of them, what we are aware of can’t essentially be us, it’s really funny when you think about it.

Life is a dance, life is a play so we should adopt a playful attitude towards it, we should become like a child again in the sense of we don’t need to question everything, everything we think or do doesn’t need to make sense or be understood because the more you look into life you realise it can’t be understood, no one knows, not even science how or why this is all happening, it’s the greatest mystery, the greatest joke ever, so why not just dive in head first, say yes to life, stop overthinking it and do what makes you happy.

We can’t walk around laughing all day and ignoring problems, but in the back of our minds we must realise that everything is how it is for a reason, everything is and will be ok, if we aren’t getting what we want we a getting a lesson in the school of life so we should just relax, take it easy, laugh more when we can and let a lot of petty things go that aren’t that important. We must be able to laugh at ourselves because life and our egos were never meant to be taken seriously.

Thanks for reading have a great day guys and if it’s a bad one, just make it through the day and try again tomorrow.

Simon Coleman.

You just need to make it through today.

We would all love a problem free life, to be human is to experience pain and suffering though. The ability to know we are alive, to experience a story we call ” my life” is a beautiful thing at times and at other times can be the most horrible thing.

Life is a gamble, a roll of the dice, a poker hand, some people are dealt a bad hand, some get a bad roll of the dice. We feel in control of our lives but many things are out of our control, I would say all is out of our control but will leave that for another post. We don’t pick our parents, our genetics, the thoughts and ideas we are exposed to at a young age, definitely not the mental and physical abuse that some are exposed to.

Some people’s lives turn out great, many people’s lives don’t, and when they don’t turn out great, sadness and depression can overwhelm us. As humans we can’t avoid pain because that comes from the body but we can avoid suffering, well at least try to manage the suffering. Pain is for the body what suffering is for the mind, suffering is painful thoughts that we go over and over again in our minds.

When thoughts of giving up start creeping in especially when giving up means ending our lives, we must really take time to breathe and tell ourselves ” my only goal at this point in my life is to get through today”. When our lives start falling apart, focusing on things we can’t control is wasted mental energy. When everything starts going wrong we need to get back to basics, we need to set an achievable goal, a goal that is just to get through today. Get through breakfast, lunch and dinner, do everything that is required in that day to the best out our ability then climb into bed and remember to tell ourselves that we can’t possibly know what tomorrow will bring and it doesn’t matter because we made it through today, we succeeded.

When we wake up we must set our selves the goal again of just making it through the day. Life doesn’t owe us anything, life unfolds how it wants to not how our ego wants it to, we must surrender to what is and just flow with it, we also must remember that nothing in life is permanent, even the bad times. At times when things aren’t going well we must just keep our head down and ride out the storm, if we get stuck in our thoughts of why this or that happened, or why it shouldn’t be this way, it can get dangerous when our thoughts start to get dangerous.

The foundation of our lives should be solid and by solid I mean being able to live simply, to master the basics of being happy with what we have, to be grateful for what we have, after that is mastered then we can branch out into achieving more and more knowing that if it ever fails we can retreat back to the foundation of simplicity and not be crushed by unfortunate circumstances.

When the bad times and sad times appear, never feel like a failure, never feel guilty, never feel you are doing life wrong, if you view God as the essence of all things and all reality then everything is always as it should be at all times. Hard times are given to us to grow stronger and develop wisdom, they are also there to show us that we shouldn’t put our happiness into things that are impermanent. We are here to experience all the beauty and all the horror life has to offer, when things are going great our dreams and plans get bigger and bigger and that’s ok, but when things are going wrong we need to realise and understand that it’s ok too and that we must take a step back and focus on what we can control, that all we must do is make it through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes.

You are stronger than you think, you can make it through today and that’s all that is required of you when life isn’t working out, save the bigger goals and dreams for when life starts looking brighter again, and it will. No one can say when, but bad times are the best times to practice mindfulness because that’s all we can do, be here and now, just make it through the hour, the afternoon, the day, that’s all you need to do, don’t be tricked into thoughts of doing things that you can’t reverse such as suicide, I’ll leave it at that, you’ve got this, I know you do.

Thanks for reading,

Simon Coleman.

You know you’re alive right?

The title of this post seems obvious, of course you know you’re alive, it’s the most obvious thing, but how often do we take a moment to realise how amazing that really is?

If we look at our lives or the lives of most people, everyone is searching for that big event, or that big moment to finally say ” Yes! now I’m living!!” Completely forgetting that knowing we are alive is the biggest miracle of all. They talk a lot about gratitude is spirituality, if our lives are built on a foundation of gratitude for the simple fact that we know we are alive and what a miracle and mystery that is, everything that comes after that is a bonus.

I’ve noticed in myself and others that when actions or things are done from a place of not being grateful for what we have and chasing more and more, it seems to not work out for the best. Desperately chasing money makes us lose more of it, desperately chasing people makes them run faster from us etc.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with setting and achieving goals or wanting a better life, we have to do something while on this earth, but I feel if we start with taking time out daily to realise, appreciate and be grateful for firstly knowing we are alive, then being grateful for the blessings we do have and learning to be happy with what we currently have, after that for sure, aspire for more, the only difference is it’s not coming from a place of needing more to prove anything to anyone or to boost our ego, it’s coming from a place of wanting to challenge ourselves and improve ourselves.

Daily meditation is a great way to take time out to appreciate the miracle of knowing we are alive, to see what we truly are behind all the thoughts, feelings and ideas we take ourself to be, to see we are already complete and that by doing actions that we feel will complete us will only hurt us in the long run.

We only have this moment, how we treat this moment we treat all moments. I’ve noticed in my life and the lives of others who are constantly grateful and humble with what they have, more comes to them, those constantly not grateful it seems to backfire. If we master the art of being grateful for what we have we become unstoppable in a sense, if more comes that’s great but if it doesn’t that’s ok too. It all starts though with appreciating the fact of knowing we are alive and branches out from there, happiness is a state of mind, not a state of having any particular object. That’s my thoughts on the matter anyway.

Thanks for reading,

Simon Coleman.